I just don't love you anymore.
Please don't cry.
It's not you, it's me.
My new boyfriend.
06 April 2010
26 January 2010
19 December 2009
Today, I came across a photograph that I took exactly 3 years ago, yesterday (12/18/2006). I don't take many photos, but I just so happened to take one yesterday (12/18/2009). I was astonished by my transformation in three years time. It's comforting to know that the transformation from girl to woman is evident on the inside as well as outside.
30 November 2009
[I apologize in advance for my derailed train of thought]
I was leaving a friend's house today and it was so cold outside that I had the oddest urge to smoke a cigarette. I've never smoked a "Loosey/Lucy" (lol) in my life so I wouldn't even know if they warmed one up or not. That thought, in turn, reminded me that the majority of artistic people and their imagery utilize cigarettes. Artsy people are pretty fucked up mentally, perhaps the tobacco provides some stimulating depressant. Hm. At any rate. I continued my thought for a few minutes more and almost peer pressured my damn self into thinking smoking would make me look "more artsy". And then I snapped out of it and came to the conclusion that cigarettes are only sexy in photography, more specifically, that of high fashion.
Besides, kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.
And then, after all of that, I come across this today:
She should be holding a cigarette.
22 November 2009
Supermodel Daul Kim, one of the most recognizable faces of Chanel, Alexander McQueen and others, is yet another victim of the pressures of beauty in our culture. She was found hanging in her Parisian apartment on November 19th. This is especially haunting to me not only because I am currently building my journalistic portolio and am doing a piece on this very subject, but because this seemingly acclimated young woman was exactly one year younger than me, born on May 31, 1989. I have always been affected by this subject because being so enveloped in such a narcissistic industry the lack of reality is, all too often, distorted and ultimately, very jading. This 20 year old woman won't have the opportunity to explore all of life's opportunities because sadly, once you [seemingly] have all the keys to life's doors, there's nothing left to explore.
What would you do if you could see everything?
I'd learn to close my eyes.
“I wore high high heels and short short skirts
to hide my depression and weakness
tried to hide my loneliness by hornyness
tried to deny how predictable my patterns are”